After a day of work, I found myself sitting on the couch scrolling through TikTok, attempting to shut my brain off from the rest of the world. But instead, I came across a video about the signs of imposter syndrome.
“That’s me,” I thought, as I began researching more into what it was.
For those who don’t know, imposter syndrome is “the persistent inability to believe one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills,” according to Google’s definition.
From the outside, I think people would be surprised that I struggle with this. I have an overall GPA of 3.72, was the president of the Mount Royal University Men’s Rugby Club, and am finding success in my summer internship. I work hard to achieve my goals.
But why, despite everything I have accomplished, do I continue to doubt myself? I am capable, but can’t seem to internalize that belief.
I believe a part of this stems from my childhood. School was never something I enjoyed in my adolescence. I hated doing homework and only attended school for the social aspect.
I earned over 100 credits to reach the graduating requirements, but that was mostly due to extracurricular activities. I truly don’t believe I would have graduated solely based on my academics.
Because of this, I always felt I wasn’t smart enough for school, or that I didn’t have the work ethic to make it through a university program.
It wasn’t until my 20s that I decided to go back to school. Through hard work, I realized I was capable of getting a post-secondary education and found a true love for learning.
I took a few things away from this. First, I recognized the harm of self-doubt. The more I doubted myself, the more I believed I couldn’t achieve my goals. Being able to make a mental shift forced me to believe I am capable.
Second, I learned the value of hard work. Throughout my 20s I’ve come to the realization that I may be required to put my wants aside and focus my attention on my goals. The more I worked hard to invest in myself, the easier it became to overcome feelings of uncertainty.
And third, I recognized a desire to do more with my life. I knew deep down that I wanted to achieve some of level of success. I think my definition of success has changed over time, but my achievements prove my success and allow me to gain confidence.
I will continue to work on these three points. They have helped me overcome feelings of imposter syndrome as a student and I hope they will help me overcome the same feelings as a journalist.
I think to some extent it’s okay to feel inadequate. It begs the question; will you rise to the challenge or fold under the pressure?
As for myself, I will always rise to the challenge because that’s when I’ll see the most growth.
