It recently occurred to me that I am increasingly out of touch with the youths of today. I no longer recognize the “stars” that grace the cover of the gossip magazines. I do not understand today’s fashion trends – don’t even get me started on the half shaved haircuts some girls are wearing these days. I cannot comprehend the obsession with selfies that lead to the need for the selfie stick to be invented and people purchasing it non-ironically.
However, I’m well aware when I was younger the older generation probably said the same type of things about 90s grunge, inflatable furniture and wearing pants with legs so wide you could fit three people in one leg. The biggest thing that differentiates my generation from the youths of today is texting and the dismal repercussions it has had on the English language.
I’m a writer by trade so obviously I love words. I love the emotions you can evoke in a beautifully structured sentence. I love obscure words with unexpected meanings. I even have a collection of odd dictionaries, my favourite of which is a dictionary called Words to Offend and Amuse: Depraved and Insulting English.
In Depraved and Insulting English there are words for all sorts of disgusting mannerisms, unpleasant smells and bodily functions, and unfortunate physical traits. For example, Game of Thrones fans might be delighted to learn Robert Baratheon – the fat, drunk, womanizing king of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros – has a surname that sounds awfully similar to the word barathrum, which means an insatiable glutton.
There is also the slotterhodge and the slubberdegullion, which mean a messy eater and a contemptible slob, respectively. And I can’t leave out woodpusher, someone who is a poor chess player, and zowerswopped, a foul-tempered individual.
Words are lovely. So why must we condense them in such ugly manners?
Case in point; bae – a non-word that I find loathsome. Bae is the bastardized form of English for baby. Apparently typing three letters instead of four saves so much time. I wouldn’t be so annoyed with this term if it stayed to texting but it hasn’t. People are now using it in conversation and that makes my soul sad.
Of interesting note, Urban Dictionary defines Bae as a Danish word for poop. Nothing says love like a pet name about defecation for your significant other.
Then there’s totes; the abbreviation to use when you want no one to take you seriously. Totes is the shortened version of totally and it will totes make you sound like an naffin (defined as: one who is almost an idiot).
Now I don’t mean to sound like a mome, a nitpicking critic, but can we please stop using cray? Though I can’t find an agreed upon definition for cray, my best guess is that it’s the shortened version of crazy because everyone knows zed is overrated.
It may seem like I’m beating a dead horse with this rant but words, real words, can create amazing sentences.
One of my current favourites is from author Jonathan Safran Foer from his book Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close: Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.
I feel like that sometimes when I wonder if I’ve made the right choices in my life, I just didn’t know how to express it until I read that quote.
I’m a big fan of Safran Foer and his eloquent way of describing the mess that is inside many of our heads. He also wrote, “it was not the feeling of completeness I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty.”
I’m sure you have your favourite quotes and authors too who take the longing to express what we feel inside and translates it into a sentence that makes you feel that someone finally understands you, gives you encouragement or simply makes you smile.
This is why I love language and this is why I hope we can get back to it.
