Ever wonder why voter turnout is so low? Here’s a short speech illustrating why…
Ladies and gentlemen,
Welcome to the first day of a better future for you and your children.
We are gathered together here, today, not just to elect one candidate, but to help chart a new course for our province – a course towards sustainable peace and prosperity for all.
It won’t be easy, but I believe that – together – we can do it.
We can overcome the forces of that other party, because we know our party is the only party that cares about people like you.
Let me be clear. My opponent in this race is essentially a good person… except for when he is leading the forces of evil to destroy all that is good in the world.
Just look at their record. When I was volunteering in local animal shelters to heal wounded baby kittens, he and his friends from that other party were raising money for serial killers.
When I was fighting the good fight on behalf of all the orphans with British accents, he was stealing candy from blind children and giving it to Graham James.
There can be no doubt that our parties offer a very different approach. Where our party will lift the disadvantaged up, helping them realize their goals of becoming successful, motivated members of society, that other party will crush society’s collective spirit, dragging us all down.
Where our party will protect the values we hold dear through a program of positive change, our opponents will destroy all that is right in society with their radical reorganizations.
Our party proposes to centralize what needs to be centralized, and decentralize what needs to be decentralized, for the good of all. You can’t say that about our opponents. They just love to decentralize what needs to be centralized and centralize what needs to be decentralized, because they want to control everything and allow chaos.
Now, there are some who will tell you that they aren’t sure; that they are afraid of the change that will come from sticking with us – the party you know and love.
I say, “Poppycock.” Those who oppose us are wrong.
Some of them are simply mistaken, and don’t understand why we, in mainstream society, are wisely leading with a steady hand on the wheel.
Others are purposely out to mislead. They know the truth about how wonderful our party is, and just won’t admit it.
It is this second group of people, I call them the liars, who seem to appear most often on TV news, call in to radio talk shows and get interviewed for newspapers. It’s all part of a media conspiracy to help that other party. We must rise above it. We must work harder, knock on more doors, and raise more money so our party’s message of hope and peace gets out to the people.
We know that other party will do everything in its power to oppose our message of hope and peace, because they are the party of hopelessness and war.
So I put it to you. Will you join us? Will you stand up for this glorious province? Will you help us fight the good fight, to protect the important values that we all hold dear? Will you sign over your social security cheque to defend Alberta’s future? Now is the time for action: Action to protect people just like you from that other party run by people not like you.
Thank you.
