While shopping in Costco last week, I was stopped in my tracks by the most unlikely item: an electronic piano.
I stood staring at it for a long time while holiday shoppers navigated their over-sized carts around me. I knew I was blocking the aisle, but I was reminiscent about all the nights throughout my childhood my mom would sit down at her grand piano and play a few songs before us kids would fall asleep upstairs in the room above her.
It also reminded me of the endless persistence my mom had throughout my teenage years to teach me that same piano, despite my resistance. She would tell me that learning an instrument is good for developing discipline. It was a piece of wisdom I didn’t quite absorb until I was in my early twenties.
Coming to the end of the year – a time when we reflect on the last 365 days - it was timely for me to reflect on the pieces of wisdom I learned from my mom as a kid but didn’t appreciate until I was an adult.
It’s like being at work and wishing you could go back to kindergarten and appreciate nap-time.
My mom often tells me she sees herself in me, which, now, is great news. But, my middle school-self saw this as an undesirable fate. “I want to be my own person!” is a saying my sister – who has a twin – coined, and I’ve since found many situations where it fits.
I now know that my mom’s character is something to be desired.
Growing up, my mom was persistent, but she was not unwilling to negotiate. As she would have it, if I would not take her piano lessons with gusto, I would learn something else. Her reasoning was that learning something new and seeing it through is both the cake and the icing.
Speaking of cake, she did have a non-negotiable rule about meals: eat at least one meal together as a family a day, sitting at a table. While my younger self often wished we could eat casserole and watch Oprah on the couch, I can now see that learning to communicate, and the importance of communicating, is the glue that will hold many relationships together in the future.
Quality over quantity, is what she would always tell me, which I agree applies to many things, everything except shoes.
She would tell me that investing into a few good friendships – and yes, friends include siblings – is far more important than having a basketball team of friends that wouldn’t have a funny story to tell at your wedding someday.
Individuality is a word my mom used to use more than my full name. Today, trying to be unique is almost a trend in itself, but the concept remains. And, in expressing said individuality, one will likely only end up with a few good, close friends.
“Turkeys flock and eagles soar,” was one of her favourite quotes, along with, “The opposite of courage is not cowardness, it’s conformity.”
I can still hear her saying those words in one of her many Life Lessons Speeches, as I’ve dubbed them, respectfully.
One of her favourite quotes though was about learning to live within your means. It was a lesson she taught by enlisting my sisters and I to pick beans at a local farm for a pay-by-the-pound-wage to finance our teenage wants.
Since then, summer jobs became the norm. Her thought was that “lookin’ good and feelin’ broke,” was actually not the best way to live, and money management is something that’s learned young.
Another thing that’s engrained young is appreciation. Especially at this time of year when I’ll be surrounded by family and gifts and long-standing traditions for my holiday season, it’s the best time to remember what I have and be thankful for it, as there are many families in need.
What has this year taught you?
