When she talks about learning to overcome lifeís hurdles, Iím all ears. Thatís because she knows what sheís talking about by virtue of her own experience, not someone elseís.
Sheís somewhere in the quagmire of a devastating and crushing experience, to be sure.
One that requires her to daily surmount one of the biggest obstacles a person can ever encounter ñ the sudden and unexpected death of her husband and her childrenís father in what statistics coldly refer to as an MVA (motor vehicle accident).
This taxing assignment certainly was not entered in her 2013 daytimer when it intruded her orientation to normalcy just a few days into the new year.
Tragedies are seldom scheduled when they encroach to turn schedules upside down.
We ìdonít know what a day will bring forth,î the sage once observed. Indeed.
My role in her experience? Professional, but thankfully far, far more than that.
She has graciously permitted me to basically just show up in her life as often as our over-crowded routines can intersect ñ to listen, to support, to cry, to shepherd, and to laugh.
Yeah, thatís something else the sage counseled.
Laughter: itís a superior tonic not available in pharmacies.
Her husband and I always laughed a lot together so maybe laughing makes both of us feel closer to him and/or his memory, which is truly therapeutic.
People often ask me how sheís doing.
ìWhy donít you call her and ask?î Iíll respond. ìIím not sure Iíll know what to say,î I often hear back. ìThatís not the point,î I advise. ìJust say that she and the kids were on your mind today and then listen to what she has to say because thatís what matters most.î
Some of us learned long ago that pat answers truly donít carry the freight when it comes to assisting those in grief.
And despite my best efforts to elicit such, my iPhone is a complete failure when it comes to supplying me any pearls of wisdom in that regard.
So I text her and/or the kids jokes, thoughts and various inanities just to remind them theyíre in my thoughts and prayers.
Maybe thatís what you need to do today. Take 10 seconds to text ìthinking of youî to that hurting person in your sphere. Allow a little thing to be a big thing in anotherís world.
As Iím being reminded, it may just be the very thing she/he needs to hang on for another hour, afternoon, or day.
Tim W. Callaway is pastor of Faith Community Church in Airdrie, and welcomes your thoughts @timwcallaway, [email protected] or 403-948-6727.
