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Say it nicely, or don’t say it at all

I spent New Year’s Day in my pajamas, on my couch, binge-watching Insatiable on Netflix. It was delightful. Perhaps not the healthiest way to launch into 2019, but that was exactly what I wanted to be doing – or not doing – on that particular day.

I spent New Year’s Day in my pajamas, on my couch, binge-watching Insatiable on Netflix. It was delightful. Perhaps not the healthiest way to launch into 2019, but that was exactly what I wanted to be doing – or not doing – on that particular day. Soon after, a friend posted a meme on Facebook that really hit home for me. It talked about 2016 being the year that changed you, 2017 being the year that broke you and 2018 being the year that opened your eyes – with 2019 as the year that sees you coming back stronger. While I’d change the dates a bit, the idea of heading into the New Year with renewed optimism was just the shove I needed to take back control over my own happiness and life after a few rough years. One thing about getting older is I’ve come to realize I don’t give a flying fig about what other people think of me – but I do expect them to afford me some measure of respect for the life and lessons I’ve already learned. And in 2019, I’m going to make sure I call people out who are disrespectful or dismissive of that. This is going to be a year of change. I’m reminded of that definition of insanity wherein repeating the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result, is lunacy. So I’m not going to spin my wheels this year, doing the same old thing and expecting life to be different. There’s a lot of ugliness online and in the news. People seem to think it’s OK to hide behind their keyboards and post all manner of vile and inappropriate statements. Because of my job, sometimes those comments are directed at me, and while I’ve learned to just ignore them and consider the source, it still astounds me what some people think is acceptable to post. Or send me in an email – because that happens, too. If we all took a few minutes to think before we hit send or the enter key, perhaps there wouldn’t be as much of that ugliness in the world. I was raised with the adage, “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all,” and I try to abide by that even as an adult. That doesn’t seem to be true of a lot of people, though – and in 2019, I’m simply not going to be OK with that. I’m not a fan of making New Year’s resolutions – I think they’re doomed to failure – and that’s not what I’m proposing. What I am determined to do is to change my attitude and expectations. One of those expectations is around how I will allow people to treat me. So, 2019 – listen up. I’m coming for you.

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