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Our daughters deserve better

Each year, March 8 marks International Women's Day. It was, in the past, a day I thought very little about. I scoffed at the idea of feminism – the word alone would conjure up images of bra-burning hippies and uptight protesters.

Each year, March 8 marks International Women's Day. It was, in the past, a day I thought very little about. I scoffed at the idea of feminism – the word alone would conjure up images of bra-burning hippies and uptight protesters. I had no need for such things in my life. I had the right to vote, and I could gain employment outside of the home and participate in all the same things the men in my life could. Then I had a daughter, and my whole world changed. I see first-hand the inundation of gender "norms" that started the instant she came into the world. Everyone wanted to see her in pink, surrounded by princess culture, and would express annoyance at my preference for grey or yellow outfits, and that the only princess I was willing to push on her was Senator, General and Supreme Commander Leia Organa. And don't get me started on the difference in toy selection – girls are offered toys encouraging them to be mommies, while boys get to explore a world of science, technology, sports and heroes. As my daughter grows, the disparity seems to grow with her. She loves dinosaurs, and I often make it my mission to seek out dino clothes, toys and books. Sadly, a great number of dinosaur clothes marketed to girls feature sayings like "cute-a-saurus" or "snore like a dinosaur, sleep like a princess" – what does that even mean? The boys' dino clothes rarely have any text; if they do, it's just "roar." What is this focus on appearance and princess behaviour all about? Why are we telling young girls who might be showing an interest in science that what really matters is how they look and act? The messaging continues in my daughter's books. Girls are often not the heroes, or even a main character, of these stories. And the occasional female protagonist is rarely strong or independent – instead, little girls see women portrayed as needing saving, feeling desperately unhappy until they find popularity or fall in love, or are obsessed with physical appearance. I realized this approach to raising girls limited my own dreams when I was growing up, and I cannot allow that for my daughter. She will not be told she can't do something because of her gender, and I do not stand for others, intentionally or not, quashing her lively, creative personality. The other day, while she struggled with feelings of anger and frustration, her dad told her to never be afraid to try new things – you may not get them right immediately, but that just helps you do it better next time. His thoughtful response made me proud because, all too often, our expectations of girls are for them to just be quiet and accommodating – and they deserve much better than that.

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