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National Trevor Day on the horizon - rejoice

Well, it’s here: National Dog Bite Prevention Week. This comes hot on the heels of other arbitrarily celebrated days, weeks and months for various causes. It’s getting to be a bit much, frankly.

Well, it’s here: National Dog Bite Prevention Week. This comes hot on the heels of other arbitrarily celebrated days, weeks and months for various causes.

It’s getting to be a bit much, frankly.

I recently found out that I missed out on Birthmother’s Day (May 7), where I ostensibly re-enact my birth by duct taping together a series of cardboard boxes and crawling through them with a nude coloured body suit on.

In light of this, I’ve decided to make my own day. Behold, International T.R.E.V.O.R. Day, The Right Excellent Vocal Order of Retrevocation, a day to celebrate all those wishing to change their names and come into the Trevor fold, is nearly upon us. While similar to Celebrate Your Name Week, the first full week in March, my day is much, much cooler because it will assimilate everyone. In keeping with the spirit of awareness, T.R.E.V.O.R. Day will be chosen at random by throwing a dart at a calendar.

Throws dart.

There you have it, Sept. 6, the day after Labour Day. Mark it down and please feel free to extend the weekend by another day until the end of time.

It’s not that I don’t like awareness it’s fine — in moderation. But when awareness overtakes the number of Roman Catholic Church saints’ days, I get a bit bored and it loses all meaning.

To prove my point I’ve chosen a number of awareness days and weeks to discuss.

• National Pharmacy Awareness Week, March 6-12. Because you’re not taking enough drugs. Happy pill popping, everyone.

•International Hemophilia Day, April 17. Not to be confused with June 14, World Blood Donor Day.

• World Oceans Day, June 8. Thanks oceans, for letting us pee while nobody’s looking, spill our oil and let Somali pirates cruise around in you.

• Social Media Day (British Columbia), June 30. Its working title was Dick Around at Work Day, but was changed because the soon-to-be-implemented Richard Day organization committee protested.

• World Population Day, July 11. A day this stupid doesn’t need any jokes.

• International Day for the Eradication of Poverty, October 17. Unless this is the first time this event has happened, it’s failed. Rename it or just stop.

• World Statistics Day, Oct. 20. One hundred per cent of people that participate in this day are virgins solving Rubik’s Cubes in their mother’s basements.

• Disarmament Week, Oct. 24-30. Might be good if the USA, North Korea and Pakistan actually received their invites in the mail.

• Africa Industrialization Day, Nov. 20. Yeah, because this has gone over swimmingly in the past, right?

• World Television Day, Nov. 21. Sit back, get fat and enjoy the post Africa Industrialization Day banter.

• Global Orgasm Day, Dec. 21. People are to have an orgasm, alone or with a partner, while thinking about world peace. If only it was this easy.


Airdrie Today Staff

About the Author: Airdrie Today Staff

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