When my e-mail inbox refreshed itself on July 8, my publisher let me know the Snowbirds - Canada's premier aerobatic flying group - had media availability July 15 and, if I was interested, I should reply immediately. I did with no time to waste.
Skip ahead to the following Friday.
I arrived at a small airstrip in Calgary at 6:45 a.m. and immediately began my fitting for a flight suit, gloves, helmet and was given a shroud knife on the off chance I have to cut a parachute string that gets tangled. From there it's weigh-in time. Snowbirds must be under 210 pounds in order to go sky high in the CT-114 Tutor jets they fly.
I pass and head off to my medical exam. The lovely team doctor bombarded me a laundry list of questions, all of which I had an acceptable answer for.
Following my doctor's appointment, I head down to the hangar for a "seat check" and receive a tutorial of protocol in the event an ejection manoeuvre is required.
Let's just get this out of the way right now, I'm not a big flyer. I'm not scared of flying, I just haven't done much of it. Aside from a 1992 flight to Toronto, when smoking was allowed on airplanes, and a 2009 trip to China, I've never been in the air. I'm so green I don't even know how to be scared for a flight with the Snowbirds.
The tutorial was performed by Snowbird Lead Solo Captain Brett Glaeser. He's a nice man who is all business and I didn't try to pull any fast ones on him. After about 20 or 30 minutes I feel confident I can eject myself if need be and I feel like I almost want to since we've been on the subject for so long.
Next is the mission briefing and pilot introductions. I received nine of the firmest handshakes in short order from the 'Birds. When they wanted to know my story, I obliged and informed them of my call-sign: Turbo.
From there we headed to the tarmac. It's safe to say that by this point I've never felt cooler in my entire life. Walking out, in a flight suit, with my pilot Brett Parker (call sign Oreo) is a feeling that couldn't be topped. In the back of my mind I heard Kenny Loggins' Danger Zone playing.
The Snowbirds took off in formation, and it was stunning to see their razor sharp coordination working with one another while effectively communicating over the radio. Being in the No. 5 plane, Oreo and I had a stellar view of the other planes. At one point, we flew nine abreast with neighbouring Snowbird wings only eight feet apart. Whoa.
Oreo was calm, cool and collected and tried to make small talk all the while I could feel my temperature slowly rising. We made two passes over the Calgary Stampede for the patrons to see. They looked like ants from where we were and within seconds we were outside of the city heading north to Red Deer and Sylvan Lake. With a little more leeway and room to move, the 'Birds separated from one another, allowing for some aerobatic demonstrations they are so famous for. Oreo pulled a couple of quick left-right-left-right banks and this allowed me to feel G-Force working against my body. If you're reading this in your living room, you are pulling one G. But, at 5,300 feet altitude at 560 kilometres per hour, we started pulling three G's. These are baby G-Forces for the Snowbirds, but for the average civilian such as myself, it was a humbling moment being shoved down into my seat through gravity.
After navigating our way to the Airdrie Airpark, my neck was perspiring more and I didn't feel the same as when I entered the cosy fuselage. Oreo mentioned he liked to "keep a pretty cold cockpit," but I was feeling warmer by the minute.
Radio sequence:
Turbo: I'm not feeling so great, Oreo.
Oreo: No?
Turbo: No.
Oreo: Alright, well we're going to do a few more passes of the air strip and then we'll be pretty much wrapped up.
Turbo: Ungghh.
Oreo: Here, this should help. (Oreo flicks on the 100 per cent oxygen switch, which I'm now rapidly inhaling).
It does help for a few minutes, but I feel like I'd need 200 per cent oxygen to mitigate my impending fate.
Turbo: Alright, it's go time. I'm going to barf.
At this point I make the most of my motion sickness bag.
Radio sequence two minutes later:
Turbo: Alright, good to go. Let's do this.
Oreo: (Laughs). You're alright?
Turbo: Oh yeah, I'm great.
The flight ended a few minutes later and I actually felt fine. I hopped down from the jet feeling jacked with adrenaline oozing from my pores.
We posed for some photos and I shook Oreo's hand again.
The Snowbirds are a Canadian treasure for a reason. The high-octane show they bring to thousands of people at every air show doesn't come without rigorous practice and training.
What blew me away was their professionalism and respect for the media they allowed in their jets, each other and themselves. These men take their job seriously, but still have fun and I was honoured and stoked to be a Snowbird for a day, even if I couldn't handle the G-Forces.
Now onto the CF-18.
