Ah, summer in the Calgary region.
Residents can expect sunny skies and warm temperatures soaring to the mid-20s for about two weeks.
Patio lovers can spend these glorious weeks in the sun, that is, if they can snatch the fleeting sunny moments between the region’s horde of hungry mosquitos, which exchange exotic viruses for blood.
If you can stand drenching yourself in noxious-smelling DEET-containing substances, you may still choose to spend time sitting around the fire in the backyard or sipping a glass of wine while reading on the back deck. But don’t get too comfortable, you have to be ready to leap up at a moment’s notice and grab your book before it gets drenched with one of the areas blinding torrential downpours, you know, the ones that make you want to come to a dead stop on the highway, but you can’t because of the rednecks driving 120 km/h?
Worse yet, your book could get blown away in the high winds accompanying the thunderstorms that enhance most summer evenings. Oh, and while you are chasing it, make sure to dodge the giant hailstones that may accompany the storm or it might knock you out before you reach shelter.
And if you do get a weekend day to spend relaxing outdoors, don’t forget the potential of a massive sunburn on your sun-starved skin. Those wicked, invisible UV rays are just waiting to carve angry red swathes and create blisters on your exposed skin, which could put you out of commission for at least a week.
Pessimism aside, I am a true summer lover and spend as much time as I can outdoors in the summer - hiking with my family, walking, sitting at the lake basking in the sun’s glorious heat or sipping rosé on the back deck - my sun time is cherished, and just like everyone in the region, limited. That being said, reminders of the coming winter’s long and bitter cold make me angry.
Really, whether it’s my mom asking me where our family will spend Christmas this year or a friend sharing the details of her November wedding- I get mad and a little depressed. Although I still try to be civil, mostly I just start humming under my breath and living in my fantasy world- where waves lap sandy beaches and the weather is neither too hot nor too cold, but just right. Oh, and there are never any big bugs, mean people or earthquakes either.
So, when I noticed local stores stocking their shelves with a plethora of Christmas merchandise last week, I inwardly groaned.
Really? Do we have to think about December’s freezing temperatures and budget-blowing expenses before the kids even go to school?
For goodness sakes, I haven’t even wrapped my head around the fact that my baby is going to high school, do I have to wish her life away?
And I am not the only one who feels this way. Last week, I was chatting with my sister-in-law when she mentioned that Costco received its Christmas shipment. There she was, my usually docile sister-in-law, shopping for groceries at the mega mart, her four kids in tow, when they stumble across the Christmas items.
And her blood boils. She starts stomping around the store, likely jamming her cart into giant racks of golden ornaments, angels and wrapping paper, just hoping it will all come crashing down. She even considered dragging her little ones to customer service to complain - no small feat since her oldest is merely five years old - before she came to her senses.
I know, it is just a marketing scheme and that some people love winter and Christmas and like to get their shopping done early. It’s not that I dislike those people who consider winter their favourite season - it is hockey season in Alberta, I realize - it’s just that I don’t understand them.
Maybe there should be a place for those of us who feel the same about winter to go to forget it for a while.
Anybody up for a month-long trip to Mexico this January?
