On Sept. 18, I attended a celebration of life for a young man taken far too soon. Despite not really knowing him all that well, I was there in support of his family – I’ve known his mother for a number of years. It warmed my heart to see his high school teachers and a significant number of his friends in attendance.
Among the crowd were also a significant number of folks that don’t know the family at all. They were there as community members to offer condolences and show support. After all, a loss like this is a loss we all share.
As I stood in silence awaiting the release of balloons bearing messages of love and support, it struck me that this has become too frequent an occurrence. Young people who see no other way forward. Young people who can’t find enough hope to justify continuing on through the challenges that overwhelm them.
The saddest thing I will ever know is there are people that see no value in themselves or, if they see value, don't believe it is enough to offset the burdens they carry. How is it that we as a society haven’t managed to find an antidote for the dark thoughts held by our most at-risk members.
We need to remind people that although they may be hurting, someone else will hurt much more if tomorrow doesn’t include their presence. People need to know that failure is not a sentence but a lesson. They need to know and understand that no matter how overwhelming life may be, there is always going to be better times ahead if they are willing to endure the current hardships. They need to know their pain does not make them an anomaly but rather confirms their normality. Most of all, they need to know that even in their darkest hour, someone cares. We can’t see their thoughts, but if those thoughts are shared with others, people would stop whatever they were doing to find them the help they need.
Perhaps it’s time to include mental wellness as part of the curriculum in our high schools. Just as we highlight the importance of physical fitness and nutrition, maybe it’s time to focus on the health of the mind. We assume that as long as we hear no complaints or concerns, all must be well. As long as they smile, they must be well adjusted and happy. For many, that’s probably true. But there are far too many people who need to have the knowledge and confidence to ask for help. Frankly, we are all failing them.
In the meantime, I think we all need to have an uncomfortable conversation with our young people. We need to discuss the reality that dark thoughts are more common than they may think. We need to share with them everything we cherish about life and ask them to do the same. If they struggle to identify the bright spots in life, offer suggestions. Let them know why they are important to you and how much joy they bring to your life. Encourage them to do more of the things that bring them happiness. Share your failures and how you learned from them. Share your challenges and how you overcame them. Most of all, let them know that you will be their confidante when they need to talk. In doing so, you will be providing the hope these young people so desperately need. With hope, there are always intentions to see tomorrow.
In Airdrie, there are several resources available to people who are struggling. Many pastors and ministers have training in counselling for families and individuals and they will always be willing to talk to you in confidence – you don’t have to be a member of their congregation for them to offer you help. Community Links offers counselling services and can be reached at 403-945-3900. The Thumbs Up Foundation is dedicated to providing access to mental wellness resources. You can visit their website at thethumbsupfoundation.com. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or mental unwellness, please reach out to some of these resources.
