This should have never happened. I am not the only one grieving the loss of someone I had always assumed would outlive me. I am not the only one struggling to understand how it is that we still haven’t found a way to shield our children from those that would poison them for profit.
My son’s best friend had a little brother, JB. I got to know the young lad, as it was not unusual for me to come home and find him playing video games in my basement while his older brother and my son were in another room downstairs composing and playing music. I used to love to bug the young lad, as he had one of the most infectious smiles you ever saw.
As all the boys got older, JB didn’t come by as often, despite his older brother still being a regular in our home. Perhaps he was old enough to be out with his own friends, or maybe it was because I never upgraded any of my video games. But I still saw him at the concerts his brother played. I do believe he was his brother’s biggest fan. On those occasional opportunities, I would tussle his hair just to see his mischievous smile.
As time went on and years passed, I rarely saw him at all. When I did, he was always polite and he still had that smile that made you wonder what he was thinking. He had grown quite tall, so I couldn’t mess with his hair anymore, but I think we both knew I wanted to.
Never once did I suspect he might be sick. Never once did I think he was battling demons. His brother confided in us about a year ago, and I was struggling to accept that he was in an actual fight for his life. I don’t know what led him down the path he was on, but I silently cheered for him to find a different path. For a while, we all thought he’d found it.
But once your body and mind have consumed poisons, it is difficult to avoid the lure of those poisons. The disease of addiction leaves you in a constant battle with inner demons and the body aches for relief. The mind always tells you that this will be the last time, but if you give in to that reasoning, it is almost a sure bet it won’t be. In the end, his last time was indeed his last, as he never awakened.
We all know what substances shouldn’t be ingested. The schools teach our kids and we parents all have conversations with our children about the consequences of ingesting, injecting or inhaling many of the recreational poisons sold by those who value money more than lives. What I think we fail to communicate to them is the void they would leave if they were to succumb to those poisons. When we finally do, they sometimes are already battling inner demons.
We need to find a way to make it cool to rat out drug dealers. It’s not being a rat; it’s being a hero and saving lives.
We also need to emphasize these dangerous substances are not drugs. Drugs are supposed to make you better. These are poisons, and we need to identify them as such. Most of all, we need to openly share our grief so that everyone understands that it isn’t just the family that suffers in these tragedies. It is a loss to friends, the community and all of the people moving forward that have been robbed of knowing what wonderful people they really were.
To JB’s family, we share your loss and we ache with your pain. To JB, rest easy little guy. You don’t have to fight anymore.
