A local coaching service has partnered with a Calgary not-for-profit organization to offer a course aimed at helping stepfamilies make sense of their new family dynamics.
The Building Stepfamilies that Work course is offered by Parenting True Inc. – an international coaching service based in Airdrie – and the Stepfamily Foundation of Alberta (SFA). According to Bev Nodrick, owner of SFA, the goal of the program is setting stepfamilies up for success.
“When people come in for the first time, they usually walk out with hope,” she said.
“There are so many differences in the stepfamily dynamic, like the integration of a step-parent to your biological kids,” added Erich Schmitke, founder of Parenting True Inc. “If you don’t enter into that dynamic with the understanding that it takes time, you end up creating suffering for yourself in trying to live up to something that isn’t possible.”
According to Nodrick, couples that blend their families often have different parenting styles and therefore need to find what works best for everyone in the new family. Common challenges stepfamilies face include discipline style, finances and prior spouses.
“The rule of thumb is that, until there’s a relationship with the step-parents, the [biological] parent does the disciplining but the discipline is agreed upon as a couple,” she said.
The eight-week Building Stepfamilies that Work course is designed to help couples address and resolve some of these issues, Nodrick said.
Nodrick – a registered social workers – and her now-retired husband, Bill, founded SFA more than 20 years ago after realizing there was a need in Alberta that wasn’t being met.
“There was only one phone number in the phone book for stepfamilies and it was no longer in service,” she said.
The couple – who had both spent a portion of their formative years as members of blended families – created the Building Stepfamilies that Work program to address and resolve the difficulties stepfamilies may experience.
Schmitke – an ontological coach and facilitator –, participated in the program when he and his wife blended their families. He said the program set them up for success and three years later, a partnership with Nodrick was formed.
One reason he collaborated with Nodrick, he said, was to help stepfamilies understand their dynamic will be different from biological families. As a parent, Schmitke struggled and felt blindsided by the emotional challenges he faced.
“It took me a number of years before I recognized these feelings I had were normal [and] there wasn’t something wrong with me as a person for the way I was feeling about being a parent, or the challenges I was facing,” he said.
Nodrick, who had been counselling couples independently since her husband retired, said the partnership with Schmitke has allowed them to accommodate more couples, and she welcomes the new ideas Schmitke brings to the table.
Kate Mackenzie, AirdrieToday.com
Follow me on Twitter @katefmack
